Trying to find balance
Tonight, I’m just hurting. But I’ve been secretly hurting for a while now. There are no words that can explain why I am feeling hurt and I can only hope it will come out as I type. I just want to cry, just have an all-out ugly cry. I want to go away for a few days into the woods and just be still in complete silence. My heart aches and my mind is elsewhere. In the mist of the realities I am dealing with on my own, no one has a single clue how difficult it has been. Yet, I smile and say it’s all good just to avoid further questionings. I’m not one to ask for much because it always seems like I’m in someone’s debt and I’m buried underneath debt of my own. Every day I am trying my best and every day I know I’m missing something or several things. I try to backtrack and figure out where did I fall off and why. Some days I just feel like I must be someone I don’t feel like I am and every day I’m fighting to just be myself but at the same time I struggle to b