Pieces of Me

I have been extremely busy with a lot! I missed writing and blogging! My schedule has been so full with certification classes, meetings, interviews (jobs and local newspaper), legal and personal issues.  I can say I've been running on E for a very long time that I'm just "Go, Go, Go!" I finally was able to block out three days to camp with my son and close friends.  It was much needed! We hiked to the Bear Caves, when through some of them, climbed rocks that were millions and millions years old, watched the meteor shower, grilled steaks, made a vegetable stir-fry, played music around the campfire and had s'mores! Swimming, boat paddling and beach time!  It was something we all needed after working so hard to advance our careers, educational, mental and spiritual beings.  It was something I know I needed because I had to seriously sort through a lot of things that were weighting heavy on my mind and my heart. As I move forward into the fall month, I will be o...

I apologize for not posting anything new.  I have been buried under paperwork and dealing with a very serious matter at hand.  Please know I haven't forgotten you and that I do have new materials up my sleeves. In the meantime, please feel free to browse my blogs and if you are in the mood for poetry go back to 2009 archive. I am hoping to be posting something new within the next few weeks.  Life happens when you least expect it.  Be blessed and I wish you all a Good Friday, a blessed Passover and a Happy Easter. All The Best, Gloria

Today, as I sit resting, I was thinking about my identity.  Where do I fit? How do I fit? What do I fit?  Then I realized, for years I just never really felt the need to “fit in” because I was already an outcast due to having a hearing loss. I have been asked who do I associate with more, the D/deaf, hard of hearing, late-deafen or hearing.   My answer is hearing and hard of hearing.  I really did not meet another student like me in my old school district until my last year in middle school as this student was a transfer from another school district.  I didn’t meet another individual like me until after I transferred to another college to pursue my four year degree.  However, I did have an audiologist, very briefly, who was hard of hearing and she was just a positive radiant and an inspiration.  I say hearing because I grew up in the hearing world even though I was a hard of hearing individual.  I didn’t get invites to parties or go out or...

As I have been unsuccessful at getting through an interview in Buffalo, NY for the last four years, I had to finally ask for assistance from a local agency that works on behalf of those who are hard of hearing and/or Deaf.  It is no fun when you go into a job interview and you find yourself among ringing phones, overhead intercom system, and other disruptions that can cause one to lose focus and concentration on important questions being asked. I have always manage to find a job within a year or two.  Never really struggled as much as I have been the last four years.  There are those who may find themselves in a similar position as myself and to be honest finding a job with a server to profound hearing loss can be a huge challenge, even for those who have moderate to server hearing loss. What bugs me about this whole thing is the fact that many assume that those with a hearing loss don't want to apply themselves or they are not capable enough to communicate effecti...

When I first had my son, many were concerned about how I would hear him cry in the middle of the night and how I would be able to hear something go wrong and how would I be able to tell if he is sick.  You know to be honest, I kind of rolled my eyes because I learned how to live my life knowing how to tell the difference by changing up how I do things and using technology to help me. As a new mom, I had a c-section, so getting up and down was not an option at all.  What I did was I slept on the couch for about the first three weeks home, with my son sleeping on top of my chest as I held him securely.  It was convenience because during those weeks I was breastfeeding.  However, because I was living alone at that time, I did end up having to do more than what I wasn't suppose to do.  But, ya know what, I did what I had to do and yes, I had help from friends and neighbors from time to time.  But it was not an every other day or every few days deal.  It ...

Last month (December 2014) I learned that I was officially named a HearStrong Champion.  I must say it is an honor and a privileged to be considered among a part of a wonderful group of people who have not only overcome the obstacles faced as a hard of hearing individual, but have at each point in their lives taught, inspired, helped, and contributed to breaking down barriers in this world Gloria Matthews - HearStrong Champion Living with a hearing loss of any degree can have it's toll.  It can affect your communications abilities, relationships, and more.  There is no one way of dealing or coping with hearing loss, you just have to find a way to comes to terms with the fact that your hearing loss is now a part of who you are, not what you are.  All this does take some time and experience to reach the fact that your hearing loss doesn't define you, it is how you define yourself.  I will admit, when I was young and fearless, like most kids are, I didn't think ...

I think in the last few days I have been forced to confront a lot.  A part of me was trying to keep it all in, while the other part just couldn't continue on with living life in an unhappy and unhealthy way.  I couldn't start this New Year pretending everything was alright.  I couldn't start this New Year with secrets.  I couldn't start this New Year with a guilty conscious.  I just couldn't. I spent the earlier part of my week not really sleeping, not really eating and just emotionally upset and fed up.  Granted, I probably lost a few pounds but it'll come back eventually.  For now, it's time to rid myself of these old feelings and instead of focusing on a situation that I tried to keep myself together for, the focus will shift to officially starting the healing process for myself. Over the years, I gave up the ability to ever get close, to feel, to welcome a new love.  I had a rough time dealing with a love that I've never felt before, a lov...