Pieces of Me

Find and you shall reap. Find yourself first. Don't go looking in dark places. Don't go looking for yourself in others. Don't go looking in dark times. The journey is yours. Only yours. Its yours until you find you. When you have found you, not in anyone else, then you are ready to join in on another journey. But if you found you, but in someone else, You'll feel out of sorts, Not honest, Not pure, Just dirty. Push away those that care, They'll still back you. But when they get pushed further away, it's because you did it. STOP! THINK! THINK OF YOU! NO ONE BUT YOU! We miss you. We want you back. Where did you go? Find and you shall reap. Find yourself in you. When you have, Come back to us. We'll be waiting.

I'm living my life, You're living your life. I have the child. You don't. I wake up at all hours, You...do whatever. I work and learn, You...complain. I changed diapers, Clean up the house, Cook the meals, Feed the meals, Bath the child, Feed myself, Bath myself, Dress the child, Dress myself, Read to my child. Read my homework. I make the doc's appointments, Miss work and lose time, I stay home when child is sick, I play nurse day and night. I play teacher day and night, I play with my child. I'm doing this, All of this on my own. Add in paying bills, making ends meet, Shopping, appointments, and outside commitments . Plus catering to my child. You... get to chill. Do whatever you please. While I play mom and dad, You are enjoying your freedom. All you get to do is Think about the child, Pay for the child, and... Oh wait that's all. No parenting involved. No child rear-ending, No planning, No worrying about everyday issues, and jeez you get alone time. But wai...

Never again to trust, Never again to love, Never again to believe, Never. I'm a broken record. No one cares about me, No one understands me, No one. I want to talk, Nobody is there. I want to scream, but no one will hear. I feel like a fool. Like one who is dumb. For allowing, For reveling, For sharing, For everything.... I don't think its possible to love, ever! Not after the disrespect, Not after feeling like crap, Not after accepting apologies, Like clockwork! I'm stupid! For believing, For dreaming, For hoping, For having a chance at life. Yes, this is how low, How low I've sank. I can't talk to my family. They hung up on me! All because, I thought I was doing the right thing. Now I'm done. Sitting here, regretting the every apologies, the texts, the emails, the visits. I'm now broke. I can no longer travel. I can no longer feel comfortable, I can no longer breath. I guess I have nobody. Nobody by myself. What's sad is... I can make myself happy, but...

In this mist - the perfect bliss, the perfect rose, the pure hearted, the sweetest lips, stands alone damage. Everything is black. Nothing can be seen. No one can see my pain, my tears, my heartache. No one can see my face. The beautiful rose... Now dying slowly. What will be life of me? What will become of me? What will...? Like a phoneix - turns to ashes as its time is up. But it is reborn- into a new life - a clean slate. I'm only human. My heart is fragile. I want to love again, I want to have a family, a complete family. I want to have a place to call home. I want someone to treat me like I matter. I know I will be fine. I know in due time, my dreams will become a reality. I know deep down, I'm not meant to be alone. Not like this. But I need time. Time to heal. Time to recover, Time to recoup, Time to do me. I need to rebuild. I'm fighting for my heart. I'm fighting for my world. But I'm growing weary. Growing tired. I need a rest, for one night. I need a brea...