It easier to blame someone else
Tonight I was thinking about how easy it is to blame someone else for mistakes that wasn't entirely that persons fault. You know how you are in a situation and either one of your friends, family member or partner turns on you because of a decision you made affected everyone around you and them but it wasn't an easy decision to make? Well I have been there.
Its not easy to see the ones you love and care about go through tough times. I know from experience that some still blame me secretly for things that "should have been" and I know I feel the stingy in their words when spoken. The one thing that got me thinking about this is why blame someone when they are not standing by you every single day when you are the one making all the decisions on your own? I wonder about what is going through the minds of those who find it easier to lay the blame on someone else then to face their own demons. I wonder why is it that they fear what will happen to them so bad when fear itself can prevent them from seeing the light of the situation itself. I mean think about it.
I know in my shoes I was afraid of what would happened to me and I allowed the fear to cripple me from being happy in my own life and it also stopped me from enjoying my life. However, everyday I continue to grow stronger, wiser, and adapt to the changes that occur in my life. I cannot control the minds and hearts of others but I can control my own. My happiness lies in my own hands, no one elses. It does not depend on others and it does not depend on what others will think of me. All that matters is what God thinks of me and what I think of me.
This is no easy matter, this is not a case of who is right or wrong, it is a case of knowing what's right for you and understanding the reactions you may get from others invovled in the very same situation. You won't have an entire party in agreement and to some they may see and understand your choices and/or decisions you make or made. In the end, you did what was best for you and in the end people will just have to come around on their own terms.
I learned that you cannot force people or things to go the way you want them to or the way you envisioned your world to be. I learned you just got to let peope be and let them live their own lives as they see fit. If they are not around you everyday or even a part of your everyday life, leave them out, just stay focus on you and those you surround yourself with everyday. I also learned, if you can't let go of what happened, then are you really expecting others to make you happy other then yourself? Are you depriving yourself a chance to grow and learn that people will move on and move forward with or without you? Are you seriously thinking about how other's did you wrong but not on how you also played a role in it? I mean really think about it.
I'll admit its so much easier to blame other for the things that they have no control over or idea of. Its so much easier to point the finger and be like, "It was not my doing it was hers or his." Its so much easier to blame our love ones and the ones who care about us because we don't want to disappoint. Well people wake up! We are bounded by disappointments and how we deal with those disappointments in life will define how well we react in certain situations. It will also define our character and our strengths. We can take a lesson from those disappointments and learn from them or we can blame others and not understand the full extend to why the disappointment happened.
So think about why it is so much easier to blame others and then let me know what you think and why. Everyone has there own take at it, so there's no right or wrong answer.
Its not easy to see the ones you love and care about go through tough times. I know from experience that some still blame me secretly for things that "should have been" and I know I feel the stingy in their words when spoken. The one thing that got me thinking about this is why blame someone when they are not standing by you every single day when you are the one making all the decisions on your own? I wonder about what is going through the minds of those who find it easier to lay the blame on someone else then to face their own demons. I wonder why is it that they fear what will happen to them so bad when fear itself can prevent them from seeing the light of the situation itself. I mean think about it.
I know in my shoes I was afraid of what would happened to me and I allowed the fear to cripple me from being happy in my own life and it also stopped me from enjoying my life. However, everyday I continue to grow stronger, wiser, and adapt to the changes that occur in my life. I cannot control the minds and hearts of others but I can control my own. My happiness lies in my own hands, no one elses. It does not depend on others and it does not depend on what others will think of me. All that matters is what God thinks of me and what I think of me.
This is no easy matter, this is not a case of who is right or wrong, it is a case of knowing what's right for you and understanding the reactions you may get from others invovled in the very same situation. You won't have an entire party in agreement and to some they may see and understand your choices and/or decisions you make or made. In the end, you did what was best for you and in the end people will just have to come around on their own terms.
I learned that you cannot force people or things to go the way you want them to or the way you envisioned your world to be. I learned you just got to let peope be and let them live their own lives as they see fit. If they are not around you everyday or even a part of your everyday life, leave them out, just stay focus on you and those you surround yourself with everyday. I also learned, if you can't let go of what happened, then are you really expecting others to make you happy other then yourself? Are you depriving yourself a chance to grow and learn that people will move on and move forward with or without you? Are you seriously thinking about how other's did you wrong but not on how you also played a role in it? I mean really think about it.
I'll admit its so much easier to blame other for the things that they have no control over or idea of. Its so much easier to point the finger and be like, "It was not my doing it was hers or his." Its so much easier to blame our love ones and the ones who care about us because we don't want to disappoint. Well people wake up! We are bounded by disappointments and how we deal with those disappointments in life will define how well we react in certain situations. It will also define our character and our strengths. We can take a lesson from those disappointments and learn from them or we can blame others and not understand the full extend to why the disappointment happened.
So think about why it is so much easier to blame others and then let me know what you think and why. Everyone has there own take at it, so there's no right or wrong answer.
Blame yourself, it's on you to change.
ReplyDelete"Nuff said" but my fingers want to say more...
Who in their right mind (American culture mindset) would think that it's themself that needs to change?
Then you got to think about what specifically to change, how to go about changing, how to have others accept the change, when to start, how to stay strong.
It's a lot of work to change and with the American culture midset, why should we go through all the hard work to change when "someone else" caused the problem?
Its not so much of change because everyone know a change is not as easy as it appears to be.
ReplyDelete"Blame yourself", I think more people who are by themselves blame themselves for a lot of things and they are struggling with trying to change that mindset. But even changing the mindset is hard due to depression and other ailments that are preventing them from forgiving themselves. Guilt being at the top of the list. If guilt is so high, its most likely that one would think to take their own life and it would erase the pain from them and a "burden" of those around them.
If so many people blamed themselves and those close to them see how its tearing them up, they will try to tell them it wasn't their fault and some things are just beyond their control. They would try to tell them that they want to see them happy and enjoying life but not dwelling on it.
Therefore, when I say "Its easier to blame someone else", its in light of the fact that one can easily live life blaming someone else entirely for their own problems rather then take the blame for themselves. It's what is easier to handle or to live with. But the choices lies in the one who makes it. The question is can they really live with it? And for some, they don't and it's nothing to them. "I blamed you and so that's that. No questions ask." I heard this statement and to only feeling like they had the "right" to blame and point the finger for something that was not even the other person's doing. It's all in ego and having power to demean others.
There are people out there who do that and for those of us who witnesses it or been in similar positions, you know its wrong on so many levels. So the solution? Move on and leave them only. No one should have to change regardless. But I believe those who blame others just to get by in life, may want to reevaluated why so many may not like or agree with them and how it may or may not be hindering their ability to succeed. Again, the point is to accept, deal and move on.