Discovery
Throughout life we are constantly going through changes. Some changes are acceptable while some may be unacceptable but no one person can always have their way.
I learned over the last few years about how one wants can block one's ability to fully understand the roles of others in a given situation. For example, what one wants may not be what the other wants and it may not be in the best interest of those involved, but in the best interest of the one who wants total control. I honestly have to say that its a sad situation because of the fact that when one doesn't get the approval he or she wants, they shut everyone out for their own selfish reasons.
Now, I may be wrong and I may not be, however, when a situation involves a child, it will look and feel like a selfish act by the adult is being committed. But its wrong on so many levels. I know I made my decisions and I'm living with it and as each day passes it get easier. As I continue to explore my own world and further myself in my own education I'm learning that life will always be hard no matter what you say or do. My life has had many ups and downs and from time to time I ask myself do I regret my past...my answer changes as I realized something new about myself and as I realize the bigger picture.
I used to be a part of that population where I used to let my past determine how my present and future will always be. I used to always blame or use my past as an excuse for why I was in the current mental state that I was in. I used to walk with my head down and I still do from time to time, because my mind is weighting some pretty heavy stuff. When I run, I run with my head held high and focus and I separate all the things that bothers me and put it into its respective places. When I get quiet time, I think and all day is what I do is think. My mind never shuts off, its a constant wheel and it never stops and when I forcibly stop it, I become numb and shut down automatically. But I'm an artist at heart and I am used to being up late and getting creative.
I am human. That will always be my line. I am human and I am only human. I do what I can to the best of my ability and try to do my best to maintain a satisfactory relationship with everyone around me.
I must say that I am starting to feel like I am always being asked to give, give and give too much. I am feeling like people use me for money when I'm a single mother who is saving up to put down towards moving and other things as well. It's feeling like why are you hitting me up, just because I'm known to save is like people save a little bit of money per month, its not that hard. I'm trying to live my life and people just make it harder. I have a lot of respect for those around me, but on the real, I know hard times have fallen upon everyone and don't turn to me, please. Life is harsh, I understand, I really do but you gotta take it as it comes.
When it comes to God, I like to keep that relationship personal. I'm a christian and was brought up in a good church before it became tainted. Now, when people tell me to let God do all the work, I'm like "what work?" on the real people God works through us as individuals. We must work and labor ourselves until we get to where we want to go. We got to follow our guts when it comes to meeting our human basic needs. I say that's God's way of telling us as individuals we must take charge of our responsibilities and treat life as precious as we possibly can. But God watches over us, we were given free will to make our own decisions, he plays no part in the decisions we make as human unless he is included. Yet the one thing I fine annoying is when one says, "God wanted me to be with this person and that person and this person and so forth," and I'm like I'm pretty sure it states in the bible that God is not a match maker, he does not tell us who to be with and when its right. If a person feels guilt in their hearts and regrets in their minds, obviously those are the ones who know they are in the wrong but won't admit to it. Once again, selfish reasons.
I have been kind to everyone and in return I get not much back but I do get a little back of something. I appreciate the help I can get, but these days its becoming more and more obvious that help for me is no longer there. And what I can't seem to understand is why people get upset with me for not asking them when they have forgotten that when I have asked they have all said no. And when they have asked me to help, I have on many occasions said yes. Does anyone see anything wrong with this picture? I mean they world is greedy as is but geez help me out too you know. I don't have much and yet I'm willing to lend a hand. I have my problems and yet I'm still willing to lend a hand. But wow...really?
Any way, I'm always discovering something new and noticing how the world functions. Its sad to say we no longer help each other out, but when that one person is no longer around, you'll be wishing they were. So think about it and be considerate.
I learned over the last few years about how one wants can block one's ability to fully understand the roles of others in a given situation. For example, what one wants may not be what the other wants and it may not be in the best interest of those involved, but in the best interest of the one who wants total control. I honestly have to say that its a sad situation because of the fact that when one doesn't get the approval he or she wants, they shut everyone out for their own selfish reasons.
Now, I may be wrong and I may not be, however, when a situation involves a child, it will look and feel like a selfish act by the adult is being committed. But its wrong on so many levels. I know I made my decisions and I'm living with it and as each day passes it get easier. As I continue to explore my own world and further myself in my own education I'm learning that life will always be hard no matter what you say or do. My life has had many ups and downs and from time to time I ask myself do I regret my past...my answer changes as I realized something new about myself and as I realize the bigger picture.
I used to be a part of that population where I used to let my past determine how my present and future will always be. I used to always blame or use my past as an excuse for why I was in the current mental state that I was in. I used to walk with my head down and I still do from time to time, because my mind is weighting some pretty heavy stuff. When I run, I run with my head held high and focus and I separate all the things that bothers me and put it into its respective places. When I get quiet time, I think and all day is what I do is think. My mind never shuts off, its a constant wheel and it never stops and when I forcibly stop it, I become numb and shut down automatically. But I'm an artist at heart and I am used to being up late and getting creative.
I am human. That will always be my line. I am human and I am only human. I do what I can to the best of my ability and try to do my best to maintain a satisfactory relationship with everyone around me.
I must say that I am starting to feel like I am always being asked to give, give and give too much. I am feeling like people use me for money when I'm a single mother who is saving up to put down towards moving and other things as well. It's feeling like why are you hitting me up, just because I'm known to save is like people save a little bit of money per month, its not that hard. I'm trying to live my life and people just make it harder. I have a lot of respect for those around me, but on the real, I know hard times have fallen upon everyone and don't turn to me, please. Life is harsh, I understand, I really do but you gotta take it as it comes.
When it comes to God, I like to keep that relationship personal. I'm a christian and was brought up in a good church before it became tainted. Now, when people tell me to let God do all the work, I'm like "what work?" on the real people God works through us as individuals. We must work and labor ourselves until we get to where we want to go. We got to follow our guts when it comes to meeting our human basic needs. I say that's God's way of telling us as individuals we must take charge of our responsibilities and treat life as precious as we possibly can. But God watches over us, we were given free will to make our own decisions, he plays no part in the decisions we make as human unless he is included. Yet the one thing I fine annoying is when one says, "God wanted me to be with this person and that person and this person and so forth," and I'm like I'm pretty sure it states in the bible that God is not a match maker, he does not tell us who to be with and when its right. If a person feels guilt in their hearts and regrets in their minds, obviously those are the ones who know they are in the wrong but won't admit to it. Once again, selfish reasons.
I have been kind to everyone and in return I get not much back but I do get a little back of something. I appreciate the help I can get, but these days its becoming more and more obvious that help for me is no longer there. And what I can't seem to understand is why people get upset with me for not asking them when they have forgotten that when I have asked they have all said no. And when they have asked me to help, I have on many occasions said yes. Does anyone see anything wrong with this picture? I mean they world is greedy as is but geez help me out too you know. I don't have much and yet I'm willing to lend a hand. I have my problems and yet I'm still willing to lend a hand. But wow...really?
Any way, I'm always discovering something new and noticing how the world functions. Its sad to say we no longer help each other out, but when that one person is no longer around, you'll be wishing they were. So think about it and be considerate.
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