Love & Domestic Violence: Today's Men and Women
Lately I have been brainstorming about a lot of things, however, I couldn't help but notice just how often the word LOVE is abused in so many ways.
As previously written, I wrote about loving with your whole heart and how the one you loved with your whole heart shattered it to a million of pieces without knowing they truly did have you forever. I learned something though, that love will bring you tears, happiness, pain, joy and every sense of emotion there is. Love isn't being threaten to stay in a damaging relationship; it isn't about seeking approval from those outside of the relationship to make the relationship work; it isn't about losing friends who are deeply concerned about you; it isn't about ignoring the pleas of your family; it isn't about just you, it is about your future and where you are heading. You may be just living in the moment, but those who care for you see something you don't want to hear nor believe.
Domestic Violence is a silent killer. The victim believes its love and that its normal to live in fear. The end results - its your funeral. If you have kids - don't stay in the abusive relationship- your kids deserve better than that. You model their future of how to treat a woman or man, therefore if you are a woman and you have a son - the son will most likely repeat the same cycle. If you have a daughter, she will be confused with how a man is suppose to treat her. So be smart and be safe about it. You never know what tomorrow may bring. You never know if your kids will be dead before you. In some extreme cases, the kids are the first to get hurt badly and some don't even survive. That's reality. It will tear apart families permanently. I am no expert, however, I have witness my own mother being abused several times. Not a pretty picture. She is now deceased due to lack of self-care.
The reason I am even writing on this tough topic is because, many do not know or do not want to know what is happening. Today, its about power, being in control and being in charge. Men today feel like women are taking it away, however, because of the women's rights movement, women today are capable enough to be both man and woman in one body. Technically, women are compose of man and woman because if you read your bible, we were made from a part of Adam's ribs. So I like to think.
Men on the other hand, do not know how to handle a woman today due to the fact that many of today's generation of woman are mastering the trades and businesses of a man's world. Men find that hard to fathom on some levels. So the question most men ask is, "How do I find a real woman?" and my answer to that question is, it depends on what you are looking for in a woman and if its too ideal, lower your standards a bit. Be realistic and open minded. There are woman out there who are a housewife, raising their child or children and they do everything you can think of. And then there are women, who have no problem relying on the man 100% of the time, the only thing I have to say about that guys - BEWARE. If you have money and a decent job and you don't mind, hey good for you. But if you are just getting your life together and trying to make it, wait! The same applies to women vice versa.
Yet, when I think about it, I look onto social media outlets, I see young women defending themselves and their relationships online and I thought to myself, "What are you trying to prove? Why?" No one should have to feel defensive online about people's opinions. Word to the wise, if you truly love someone, there's no need for others to know about your personal feelings or relationships. If you feel like the relationship is dragging out and leaving you feeling down and out, get out while you can. If you got kids, trust me they will know when mommy is down and out. Don't do that to the kids. Really, don't. Kids today are exposed to enough negativity today as is, why expose them to more?
As you can tell, I am advocating for kids as well, because I have worked with them in the past. All I have to say, parents, I know it's difficult, but I'm a single mom and I understand how tough it is, be wise about your choices and especially your choice of wordings. If you want your child to do well in life, you must show you are willing to do well as well. Remember, parents, you are your child's first and foremost teacher and role model. Always keep that in mind.
Today, we need to stop for a minute and just breath. With the economy being tough, people working like clockwork, bills piling up and food needs to be put on the table, it can drive you mad. Just keep in mind, when you are not doing anything for more then a few minutes, just relax and breath. Write out your thoughts on a note pad and keep it close-by and in a place where no one will look. This way if you are angry or aggravated or emotional, let it out on paper and think of the pad or even a journal as if you are writing to your closest friend. And know what your closest friend would say to you. Be positive when you can. But try to be positive everyday.
I was once angry and frustrated for a very, very long time. Now, I am not. I have moved forward because I didn't want to hurt no more or be afraid. I wanted to live. I have a beautiful three year old son and he has been the main man in my life. So even when everything doesn't go as planned, I know things happen for a reason. Domestic Violence - there is no reason for it. Its all about power and control. Know who you are and find that inner voice, know if you are ever in a bad situation, everyone deserves to have a shot at a better life, all you have to do is do your part and make it happen. But do it right, through the right group of people.
As previously written, I wrote about loving with your whole heart and how the one you loved with your whole heart shattered it to a million of pieces without knowing they truly did have you forever. I learned something though, that love will bring you tears, happiness, pain, joy and every sense of emotion there is. Love isn't being threaten to stay in a damaging relationship; it isn't about seeking approval from those outside of the relationship to make the relationship work; it isn't about losing friends who are deeply concerned about you; it isn't about ignoring the pleas of your family; it isn't about just you, it is about your future and where you are heading. You may be just living in the moment, but those who care for you see something you don't want to hear nor believe.
Domestic Violence is a silent killer. The victim believes its love and that its normal to live in fear. The end results - its your funeral. If you have kids - don't stay in the abusive relationship- your kids deserve better than that. You model their future of how to treat a woman or man, therefore if you are a woman and you have a son - the son will most likely repeat the same cycle. If you have a daughter, she will be confused with how a man is suppose to treat her. So be smart and be safe about it. You never know what tomorrow may bring. You never know if your kids will be dead before you. In some extreme cases, the kids are the first to get hurt badly and some don't even survive. That's reality. It will tear apart families permanently. I am no expert, however, I have witness my own mother being abused several times. Not a pretty picture. She is now deceased due to lack of self-care.
The reason I am even writing on this tough topic is because, many do not know or do not want to know what is happening. Today, its about power, being in control and being in charge. Men today feel like women are taking it away, however, because of the women's rights movement, women today are capable enough to be both man and woman in one body. Technically, women are compose of man and woman because if you read your bible, we were made from a part of Adam's ribs. So I like to think.
Men on the other hand, do not know how to handle a woman today due to the fact that many of today's generation of woman are mastering the trades and businesses of a man's world. Men find that hard to fathom on some levels. So the question most men ask is, "How do I find a real woman?" and my answer to that question is, it depends on what you are looking for in a woman and if its too ideal, lower your standards a bit. Be realistic and open minded. There are woman out there who are a housewife, raising their child or children and they do everything you can think of. And then there are women, who have no problem relying on the man 100% of the time, the only thing I have to say about that guys - BEWARE. If you have money and a decent job and you don't mind, hey good for you. But if you are just getting your life together and trying to make it, wait! The same applies to women vice versa.
Yet, when I think about it, I look onto social media outlets, I see young women defending themselves and their relationships online and I thought to myself, "What are you trying to prove? Why?" No one should have to feel defensive online about people's opinions. Word to the wise, if you truly love someone, there's no need for others to know about your personal feelings or relationships. If you feel like the relationship is dragging out and leaving you feeling down and out, get out while you can. If you got kids, trust me they will know when mommy is down and out. Don't do that to the kids. Really, don't. Kids today are exposed to enough negativity today as is, why expose them to more?
As you can tell, I am advocating for kids as well, because I have worked with them in the past. All I have to say, parents, I know it's difficult, but I'm a single mom and I understand how tough it is, be wise about your choices and especially your choice of wordings. If you want your child to do well in life, you must show you are willing to do well as well. Remember, parents, you are your child's first and foremost teacher and role model. Always keep that in mind.
Today, we need to stop for a minute and just breath. With the economy being tough, people working like clockwork, bills piling up and food needs to be put on the table, it can drive you mad. Just keep in mind, when you are not doing anything for more then a few minutes, just relax and breath. Write out your thoughts on a note pad and keep it close-by and in a place where no one will look. This way if you are angry or aggravated or emotional, let it out on paper and think of the pad or even a journal as if you are writing to your closest friend. And know what your closest friend would say to you. Be positive when you can. But try to be positive everyday.
I was once angry and frustrated for a very, very long time. Now, I am not. I have moved forward because I didn't want to hurt no more or be afraid. I wanted to live. I have a beautiful three year old son and he has been the main man in my life. So even when everything doesn't go as planned, I know things happen for a reason. Domestic Violence - there is no reason for it. Its all about power and control. Know who you are and find that inner voice, know if you are ever in a bad situation, everyone deserves to have a shot at a better life, all you have to do is do your part and make it happen. But do it right, through the right group of people.
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