Friendships
Friendship... what does it really mean? It is an interpersonal relationship generally considered to be closer than association. In other words, you share things on a personal level that you would not share with someone who is an associate (someone you know, but don't have the intimacy of a friendship). There are different degrees of friendships as all friendships are not the same.
Each friendship has values and I will list it:
- The tendency to desire what is best for the other
- Sympathy and empathy
- Honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart
- Mutual understanding and compassion; ability to go to each other for emotional support
- Enjoyment of each other's company
- Trust in one another
- Positive reciprocity - a relationship is based on equal give and take between the two parties.
- The ability to be oneself, express one's feelings and make mistakes without fear of judgement.
In my life, I have learned that friends come and go. Best friends come and go as well. As we progress into a more social media technological age, friendships are hard to keep intact. With people venting on Facebook and other social media sites about another person or friend, more and more are finding that it is damaging to not only their own friendships but to their associations. This is also a sign of cyber-bullying across the world-wide web. I understand the social media networks were created to connect millions of people around the world to stay in touch with old and new friends, without thinking of the potentially damaging side that many have done unknowingly.
In real life, friends can meet up and talk about anything. Being that honest friend isn't easy, but sometimes its better to know the truth about oneself then to live knowing there's nothing wrong on your end. Friends will point out each others' fault and one should not take it as a negative impression. It should be taken in as means to help you grow into a more well-rounded person. Understanding oneself with the help of close friends is vital in my opinion. If you can't face the truth or accept it, take a step back and evaluated your life and why someone would say some things that hurts your feelings but honestly they really are trying to help you deal better with your life and situations.
Everybody is different when it comes to friendships. Different is what makes friendships unique in many different ways. We can all be on the same page but everyone is entitled to their own opinion, just don't take it personally. As we have entered a world where friendships are bonded on the internet through instant messaging and social websites, sometime its hard to swallow how one friend is living their life and how much of it is being exposed on the web. I remember a saying, "Live your life out loud," that was a line for encouragement for those of us in performance arts as well as visual. Now that saying has taken on a new meaning when it comes to social websites, people are literally living their lives out loud. Its great to share your life with others from a distant, but as we get older there are some things, you just don't post or say on the world wide web. Its called being socially acceptable for all to see, that means if a company wants to know what kind of posts you have on Facebook or anything else, I can guaranteed they will use it against you as means to sting your growth in becoming a socially responsible person with a company that upholds guidelines for being socially responsible within and outside the company itself.
There is nothing wrong with voicing how you feel, however, how you word your thoughts, ideas, and feelings reveals a lot about one's background and upbringing. So when friends who come from mild to harsh realities situations tell you something you don't want to hear, listen to them because they have been there at some point in their life and would not want to wish upon anyone else to suffer through what they went through. Friends who keep it real and are down to earth are those who know what lies ahead.
Friendships are special in their own way. Not all friendships are the same. We can be best of friends or the worst of friends, yet still stand together because we we able to work out our differences.
So take some time to think about your friends and yourself. Think about the boundaries you know you can cross and the ones you can't. Think about what it means to need a friend and want a friend. Sometimes friends don't come through because they see you need time to yourself to think it out, 'cause they can't always be there for you. Some things we have to learn how to deal on our own, because it makes us stronger as individuals. Just know this, as I have once told a group of kids in middle school, know who your friends are, the ones who are loyal and true. Keep in mind, as we get older we will have more associates than friends. When you reach your mid thirties, there should at least be three close friends. The smaller the group of friends you have the better off you will be.
It nice to have a big group of friends, but its not easy to pinpoint who is loyal and who isn't. You can't separate the ones who are true and not. More backstabbing takes place within big groups of friends and the drama that comes with it, is ridiculous. So keep the group small. At least you can have a peace of mind and know that your life is good with the friends you do have.
As an end note, friendships are precious so you must treat them with care. Just keep in mind, when you feel like your friends are not treating your friendships with care, that's usually mean its time to let go and move on, for they may just be using your kindness to help themselves. Another possible reason is that your friends may be going through something and don't want you or anyone to know what it is. So no matter how well you know your friends, they are people too, and people do change. So be aware and upfront, know who your true friends are.
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