The Day After V-Day

While Valentines is known for showering girlfriends, fiances, and wives with flowers, gifts and cards; it is also known as Single Awareness Day (aka S.A.D.).   However, Valentines is also a day of past hurts, reminders of past relationship(s), regrets and beating yourself up on the "what ifs" and "it could have been(s)".  It is a reminder that love is great and love hurts.  So before you single people decide to give into the negativity, think about what you have been blessed with.  I truly do not believe we are fully alone.

Yes, I am single as well but that did not stop me from enjoying my Valentines this year.  Instead, I celebrated it in God's name because his love is and will always be unconditional.  A few years ago, I was that single chick who loathed Valentines.  Every time I saw a post on Facebook, all I could think of was my ex and how he did me wrong and where I messed up and the whole nine yards of withdrawing from a relationship that shattered my heart into more than a million of pieces.  I was bitter and angry with myself.  Heck, I even put myself down because I felt that I could never be good enough because I am hard of hearing.   Granted, I know my hearing loss should not be a factor but relationships between a deaf and hearing person never really proves to go well anyhow.  Only very, very few relationships can survive the deaf/hearing relationships with the right amount of support system.  However, I learned if anyone was to be with me, they would accept me for who I am flaws and all.

I know an aching heart is the worse feeling in the world and all you want to do is stay in and drown in sleep and misery.  The only problem is, it is not going to go away if you keep it bottled up.  You have to know, you will be okay.  Maybe not today, but give yourself time to heal and work through your pain.  Trust me, working through my own pain of this old relationship, took me a good two to three years to get back to feeling more positive about myself and about my own life.  It was hard and sometimes I was even harsh to those around me.  Those around me, I am thankful to their friendships because they tolerated me at my worst.  So, in retrospect, my friends were the ones who deserve more love than anything.  They understood tough love and unconditional love and because they did, I am forever graceful for their friendships.

Love is just a word.  We can love hard and end up falling hard after a break up.  However, there is nothing like unconditional love.  It is an amazing feeling to know what unconditional love is.  Sometimes, unconditional love goes unnoticed because it can be easily mistaken for another kind of feeling or another kind of expression.  It is true unconditional love do we learn to understand and accept each other for who we are and what we are.  Regardless of what is happening or has happened, everyone would still be talking to each other.

When there is one person showing unconditional love in any given situation, it becomes harder for that person to express themselves and be supportive as a friend who cares deeply about you.  Sometimes, when one's unconditional love goes completely unnoticed, it truly kills them to see the one they care deeply about push them away or put themselves down or even being unfair to themselves and/or others around them.  For the one who gives unconditional love, they appreciate life and respect life on all levels.  It is not easy to give up on those whom we have unconditional love for.  No matter where we may be in life, that unconditional love will always, always be there.  In my opinion, that unconditional love comes from God and it is a blessing just to have one recognized that they are truly loved unconditionally by another; be it a friend or more than friends.  Bottom line, unconditional love is a blanket of comfort.

Love does not equal to sex or "making love".  Its about having that respect, understanding and the ability to listen to each other when everything is not going so well.  It is the ability to hear the truth be spoken openly and the ability to face it with the one who is willing to be your guide on your journey.  It is the ability to understand the depth of someone's soul and mind.  It is many things, but nothing to do with sex.  Sex is just something that is shared between two people who are suppose to be married.  However, in this day and age, sex has become so careless and meaningless.  It no longer follows the old-fashioned values.  It is almost tinted and misleading to some who have not yet fully learned to love themselves and/or understood what unconditional love means all around.  I believe sex is just a physical attraction these days and there is no love in that.

I am sure my readers would wonder, "How is it that she is single and yet write deeply about love and relationships?"  I have not had the best experience with relationships to be honest.  I am one of those hopeless romantics who just gives in to her emotions altogether.  My brain, forget about it, I'm pretty dumb when it comes to falling in love.  I believe Taylor Swift recently said in an interview in one of those magazines that her emotions take over and her brain gets dumb down by it.  It is funny how some females react to falling in love, which can be a beautiful thing but at the same time it can almost be a disaster  in the makings when the brain shuts down that intelligence.  It's hard to go through the beginning stages of any special relationship because the last thing you want as a female is to get your hopes up and risk getting hurt badly in the end.  However, not every relationship is truly meant to be.  In all reality, the only advice I have is to be yourself at all times.  Let the person see the real you and get to know the real you upfront.  If you have to peel the onion, do it slowly or else your tears will come a lot quicker than anticipated.  Hense, the quote, "Take it nice and easy and slow.  There is no need to rush."

So if anything, start to get to know yourself again if you are single and if you are not happy with yourself, you can always change something about yourself.  Reinvent yourself and get creative. Don't rely on having a gal or guy for your happiness.  Be happy for you and respect yourself.  You owe yourself that much.  So smile and live your life with an open mind.