Learning my place in this World
Tonight I attended a local meeting and I learned something about myself. I am helpful, more helpful in educating and knowing the resources that are out there for hard of hearing and deaf individuals. I'm no expert, but I think I come pretty close to it.
I lost my hearing when I was just four years old. As I was thinking back to that time and up to today, even I was offended by my own hearing loss because I feed off of the hearing individuals who were always around me. I was never around other hard of hear or deaf individuals. Now as I approach the age of 29 I am still new to the hard of hearing and deaf community. I feel left out due to losing my vocabulary in ASL, (BOOOO!) I know. Now, I am thinking about signing up for a few ASL classes and hopefully get some practice in so that I may interact with those who have used ASL all their life.
When you grow up in a "hearing" community, you get used to being left out or picked on or even taking offenses from them. You learn some don't have a single care in the world and you learn some do, but don't know "how" to help. In my experience, I never really had a support team. Only for notable people in my life have gone out of their way to show me that I had a lot more to offer than just being hard of hearing. If it wasn't for them, I honestly would not have been thinking big or going beyond high school. I was being taught that my hearing loss would keep me from succeeding in the "hearing" world and that I would most likely end up being an "Old Woman's Maid", yes OUCH!
Well I am proud to say I graduated from a private two-year Business School with my Associates as Magna cum Laude. I was also an honor student and a proud part of the honor's society. I have about one and a half years of classes towards my bachelors, which is currently on hold until I can learn a new way to deal with stress and figure out how to payback 25% of my student loans so that I can finish up my degree. I will tell you it is always something in life that comes up.
Being hard of hearing has been pretty defined for me. People automatically "assume" they need to do everything for me or that I am not capable enough to handle communications on my own or I am not capable enough to handle my own business. I mean really? I have been technically on my own since 16. Move out of home and to a college apartment setting a few years later and have been living on my own since. Of course I have been home, but only for when my mother was diagnose with terminal cancer. After my mother passed, I left and went back to living with my best friend and then on my own. So trust me, I had my fair share of dealing with "hearing" individuals who just get off at making someone feel like an invalid. The most recent experience I had was with a social worker for the county department of social services who told me in a disgraced manner "If you can't hear than call in and reschedule for an in person interview." Mind you, the know I am hard of hearing and they still talk down to me. Rude? More like heartless. They don't care. They love to blame people for their own falls and situations. Plus, when the county makes a mistake it is only natural to deny it. I actually worked for an organization that helped people deal with county workers, let me tell you how many low-income individuals got turned down for services and ended up homless with no place to stay, about one to four individuals to families would find themselves homeless because they were denied help to prevent them from being homeless. Yet, I look around and read their mission statements and more, they are a far cry from what they say. So shame on them.
Being disabled, does not mean you are entirely disabled, you may just have certain limitations that could make life a little bit more difficult. So don't put yourself down on top of other putting you down. Sometimes we just got to learn how to get creative with life, something most of us are capable of doing except those who have no disability. As I sit here and write, I am finally starting to find my place in this world among the hard of hearing and deaf community. For a long, long time I have only gotten to know about the hearing world and in my opinion, the hearing world is a hot mess at times. However, for those who are sensitive to me and my hearing loss, I appreciate them even more because being hearing and not know what's its like is difficult to grasps in their minds but they learn by doing and listening. So I am graceful for them.
As time passes, I will continue to grow and spread my wings little by little. I may be profoundly deaf, a single mom and a multi-tasker, but I know well enough my own limits. Life may not be easy but it is worth living and experiencing it. So, embrace the life you have and appreciate it.
I will try to write some more but at the moment I am a bit caught up with taking care of important business.
I lost my hearing when I was just four years old. As I was thinking back to that time and up to today, even I was offended by my own hearing loss because I feed off of the hearing individuals who were always around me. I was never around other hard of hear or deaf individuals. Now as I approach the age of 29 I am still new to the hard of hearing and deaf community. I feel left out due to losing my vocabulary in ASL, (BOOOO!) I know. Now, I am thinking about signing up for a few ASL classes and hopefully get some practice in so that I may interact with those who have used ASL all their life.
When you grow up in a "hearing" community, you get used to being left out or picked on or even taking offenses from them. You learn some don't have a single care in the world and you learn some do, but don't know "how" to help. In my experience, I never really had a support team. Only for notable people in my life have gone out of their way to show me that I had a lot more to offer than just being hard of hearing. If it wasn't for them, I honestly would not have been thinking big or going beyond high school. I was being taught that my hearing loss would keep me from succeeding in the "hearing" world and that I would most likely end up being an "Old Woman's Maid", yes OUCH!
Well I am proud to say I graduated from a private two-year Business School with my Associates as Magna cum Laude. I was also an honor student and a proud part of the honor's society. I have about one and a half years of classes towards my bachelors, which is currently on hold until I can learn a new way to deal with stress and figure out how to payback 25% of my student loans so that I can finish up my degree. I will tell you it is always something in life that comes up.
Being hard of hearing has been pretty defined for me. People automatically "assume" they need to do everything for me or that I am not capable enough to handle communications on my own or I am not capable enough to handle my own business. I mean really? I have been technically on my own since 16. Move out of home and to a college apartment setting a few years later and have been living on my own since. Of course I have been home, but only for when my mother was diagnose with terminal cancer. After my mother passed, I left and went back to living with my best friend and then on my own. So trust me, I had my fair share of dealing with "hearing" individuals who just get off at making someone feel like an invalid. The most recent experience I had was with a social worker for the county department of social services who told me in a disgraced manner "If you can't hear than call in and reschedule for an in person interview." Mind you, the know I am hard of hearing and they still talk down to me. Rude? More like heartless. They don't care. They love to blame people for their own falls and situations. Plus, when the county makes a mistake it is only natural to deny it. I actually worked for an organization that helped people deal with county workers, let me tell you how many low-income individuals got turned down for services and ended up homless with no place to stay, about one to four individuals to families would find themselves homeless because they were denied help to prevent them from being homeless. Yet, I look around and read their mission statements and more, they are a far cry from what they say. So shame on them.
Being disabled, does not mean you are entirely disabled, you may just have certain limitations that could make life a little bit more difficult. So don't put yourself down on top of other putting you down. Sometimes we just got to learn how to get creative with life, something most of us are capable of doing except those who have no disability. As I sit here and write, I am finally starting to find my place in this world among the hard of hearing and deaf community. For a long, long time I have only gotten to know about the hearing world and in my opinion, the hearing world is a hot mess at times. However, for those who are sensitive to me and my hearing loss, I appreciate them even more because being hearing and not know what's its like is difficult to grasps in their minds but they learn by doing and listening. So I am graceful for them.
As time passes, I will continue to grow and spread my wings little by little. I may be profoundly deaf, a single mom and a multi-tasker, but I know well enough my own limits. Life may not be easy but it is worth living and experiencing it. So, embrace the life you have and appreciate it.
I will try to write some more but at the moment I am a bit caught up with taking care of important business.
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