Learning to Let Go
As time has passed me by, I have learned that it was time to let go of people, things, and old habits to move forward. Life has been a roller-coaster ride for me. I had my highs and I had my lows. It was hard trying to to work through my own life's issues and situations that were emotionally and physically draining. However, once I came to realized it was time to let go, I was scared of the simple little fear that I was losing a part of myself. In the end, I realized I didn't lose a part of myself. I saved myself from hurt.
I just ordered TD Jakes book "Let it Go". I am looking forward to reading this book and learning more about what it means to truly let it go. Of course, I am feeling lighter, freer and worried free now. I understand, I can't always be that person in someone else's background or be that person in waiting. Sometimes the very things we need is right in front of us the whole time and we were too blind to see it. I am learning, as my heart still continues to repair itself, it is now healing the deepest wounds of it all a love so deep that the bonds I used to share with that "special" one, is a stubborn one to heal. I have made my peace with everything in my life and now my heart faces its hardest task to let go of that bond and to allow myself to heal that wound so that I can be 100% to share my love back to someone who will love me just the same. I want to be free of fear before I decide to share my life with someone. I want to be separated from my past so that I can be fair and honest with the person who deserves the same from me. I want my mind to be free of conflicts and my emotions to be free of confusions.
There is a reason why I am taking my sweet little time. My time to reflect upon my life, a time to reinvent myself, a time to learn that its okay to let go and a time to get a new perspective on learning on to live in faith for the future. Like any human being, I am always learning something new. My mother once wrote in her cancer journal, "Learning does not stop in the halls of school. It continues on forever outside the walls of school." Learning indeed does take place outside of learning. I may not be where others want me to be, but God has me where he wants me to be and that's all that matters.
With faith, it takes time to learn what faith is. I am still learning more and more about keeping the faith. I am still learning how to build up a stronger faith in myself and in God. As for others in my life, if you are in my close circle you already know the answer. I will always encourage those in my close circle to keep trying and to go for whatever they set there minds to. No matter what I am backing them 100%.
You see, letting go is hard and we sometimes fear that if we let go of something we lose it forever. Nothing is completely lost. Sometimes letting go can help us not only move forward for it give us a sense of perspective on how we dealt with the very thing we let go of and we learn something new. I swear my life in the last few days have been very trying and yet I will not allow anything to upset me. I look back and I say to myself not once did I get upset, because I said to myself, everything will be okay and before you know it, yes everything is okay. I am learning to let go of getting upset, defensive and quickly jumping on someone's back when they point of my own flaws as if they ain't got nothing better to do. My response to those who love to point out my flaws, get a hobby! Seriously! I am allowed to have my own flaws and it is a part of who I am. Just because I am negative towards you or blocking you or not sharing as much, I have my own reasons and I'm allowed to have my reasoning and no, you may not ask me why or what my reasoning are. If you want to assume, assume at your own risk. I can guarantee it would far from it. So, I am letting go and moving on, to bigger and better things in my life. I may not show it, but the journey laid out before me will only be for my eyes only. So, relax and think, God has his plans for me and I understand I cannot control what will come next. So whatever it will be, I will be grateful.
I have already been at Rock-Bottoms so just rebuilding up from that has taught me, life goes on with God by your side.
I just ordered TD Jakes book "Let it Go". I am looking forward to reading this book and learning more about what it means to truly let it go. Of course, I am feeling lighter, freer and worried free now. I understand, I can't always be that person in someone else's background or be that person in waiting. Sometimes the very things we need is right in front of us the whole time and we were too blind to see it. I am learning, as my heart still continues to repair itself, it is now healing the deepest wounds of it all a love so deep that the bonds I used to share with that "special" one, is a stubborn one to heal. I have made my peace with everything in my life and now my heart faces its hardest task to let go of that bond and to allow myself to heal that wound so that I can be 100% to share my love back to someone who will love me just the same. I want to be free of fear before I decide to share my life with someone. I want to be separated from my past so that I can be fair and honest with the person who deserves the same from me. I want my mind to be free of conflicts and my emotions to be free of confusions.
There is a reason why I am taking my sweet little time. My time to reflect upon my life, a time to reinvent myself, a time to learn that its okay to let go and a time to get a new perspective on learning on to live in faith for the future. Like any human being, I am always learning something new. My mother once wrote in her cancer journal, "Learning does not stop in the halls of school. It continues on forever outside the walls of school." Learning indeed does take place outside of learning. I may not be where others want me to be, but God has me where he wants me to be and that's all that matters.
With faith, it takes time to learn what faith is. I am still learning more and more about keeping the faith. I am still learning how to build up a stronger faith in myself and in God. As for others in my life, if you are in my close circle you already know the answer. I will always encourage those in my close circle to keep trying and to go for whatever they set there minds to. No matter what I am backing them 100%.
You see, letting go is hard and we sometimes fear that if we let go of something we lose it forever. Nothing is completely lost. Sometimes letting go can help us not only move forward for it give us a sense of perspective on how we dealt with the very thing we let go of and we learn something new. I swear my life in the last few days have been very trying and yet I will not allow anything to upset me. I look back and I say to myself not once did I get upset, because I said to myself, everything will be okay and before you know it, yes everything is okay. I am learning to let go of getting upset, defensive and quickly jumping on someone's back when they point of my own flaws as if they ain't got nothing better to do. My response to those who love to point out my flaws, get a hobby! Seriously! I am allowed to have my own flaws and it is a part of who I am. Just because I am negative towards you or blocking you or not sharing as much, I have my own reasons and I'm allowed to have my reasoning and no, you may not ask me why or what my reasoning are. If you want to assume, assume at your own risk. I can guarantee it would far from it. So, I am letting go and moving on, to bigger and better things in my life. I may not show it, but the journey laid out before me will only be for my eyes only. So, relax and think, God has his plans for me and I understand I cannot control what will come next. So whatever it will be, I will be grateful.
I have already been at Rock-Bottoms so just rebuilding up from that has taught me, life goes on with God by your side.
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