My take on being Hard of Hearing and Late-deafen
If no one is in the Hearing Health Field as professionals they won't get it. I honestly have to say, those who work with the deaf and the hard of hearing understand just how frustrating it is to be around people who JUST DON"T GET IT. They understand our degree of hearing loss and know what we can and cannot hear. They do not makes us feel bad about it but educate us on how we can make adjustments to our environments and more. They don't force us to get Cochlear Implants or Hearing Aids, they simply offer it to us, giving us the opportunity to determine what we need to do as individuals to continue living the life that we want to live as individuals. Yes, I have heard stories of a few hearing health professionals who dictated some into getting hearing aids or a cochlear implant or even denying to continue care...yes, some are in the field to just sell the product and make a profit. Which is why it is good to make sure that your hearing health team (Audiologist, SLP, ENT...) are there to provide support, continue to educate you on your options, point you to resources that you may be interested in learning more about before determining for yourself if it will benefit you or not or how this will fit into your "new life" as you try to continue to live the life you have always lived but now face a daunting of challenges that one knows will have to make changes to accommodate one's loss.
Losing your hearing after having "normal" hearing, can indeed be frustrating. Losing the residual hearing in a hard of hearing individual is even more frustrating because we gotta deal with hearing folks who still don't understand it or the why of it. Being already deaf, naturally one will be inclined to using ASL, being heavily involved in the Deaf Culture and also subjected to the hearing world's ignorant thinking about how they communicated, why they did "nothing" about it and why they are proud of who they are. I must say many misunderstand both the deaf and those who are hard of hearing. Yes, we do things differently - the question is: Why is it so hard for hearing folks to accept that? Yes, we may live our lives slightly different - but its really no different than the average person. Yes, we will be stubborn, on the defense and offense because some things attack our core beings. Yes, we cannot always put into words or detail enough why we are different. Just reading how some have a preference to how they want to be helped and how they don't - only goes to show its not about PRIDE as the hearing world takes it. Its about the ability to maintain independence without feeling incapable, small, crippled or an outcast as the hearing world already does so be it knowingly or not.
I believe we question too much the why some people wear hearing aids, why others oppose hearing aids, and why people chose to get the cochlear implant and so forth. In my opinion, it comes straight down to the individuals. It is the individual's choice, it is their to make if they have goals they want to achieve but know it requires them to hear. It really is the individuals life decisions and factors that all play a role. As for me, I will proudly wear my N5 processor and my hearing aid because it is a part of who I am. It is what makes me unique in many ways. I am a human being who has emotions and yes, I can play deaf in a crowd but I have a clever way of throwing things back into people's faces and shock the hell out of them. Believe it or not my speech reading skills have tested at 100%. My speech language pathologist asked me how did I get good at it, I simply told her I also learned and continue how to read body language along with speech reading aka lip reading.
As for the debate over the use of ASL, I believe ASL should be introduced to children at a young age. I was able to communicate with my son when he was eight months old just using basic baby ASL signs (he's naturally hearing). As he started to speak, I took my time pronouncing and sounding out the words so that he gets it right. I even associated basic ASL signs with some of those words that I knew and my son is a CODA (Child of Deaf Adult) or (Children of Deaf Adults). My son is almost five years old and many say he speaks very well for being a CODA. As he is getting older it is difficult to teach him more signs as he is more into playing than focusing but that is expected of boys. I do try to be clever in "sneaking" in a sign or two when I do have his attention. I have also, made it fun to communicate just a little bit when we have company and its so funny when they are clueless as to what we are saying and he gets a kick out of it. I have to seriously relearn all of ASL because I've lived my whole life in the hearing world that no one bothers with ASL. Did I find that offensive? Yes and No. Yes, because it only proved they don't want to accept that you NEED ASL to make up for what you missed Orally. No, because not everyone is thoroughly educated or aware on language barriers when it comes to the deaf and hard of hearing cultures. Do I hold it against anyone? No. There is no point. They either get it or they don't - that's my stance. Sometimes its easy to be around those who do get it than it is to be around those who don't. Those who don't - get offended because they feel they were "NICE" about their approach. The thing is people can feel those who don't will only accept what they want of a deaf or hard of hearing person, but won't embrace them with their loss as it is also a part of who they are, a HUGE PART. You just can't accept a small part of people when they know you don't fully accept them - it's like not really fully acknowledging them for who they are OVERALL. So why would someone want to be around people who really don't embrace them for who they are OVERALL? I mean, we are to accept the whole of the person rather than the parts we like the best. To me its inhuman to accept just the parts of the person.
ASL is a beautiful language. It has helped many who are hard of hearing and deaf to communicate fully, in my point of view. As we face an alarming fact of 36 million people in the US has some form of hearing loss, many continue to ignore it because of the sigma attached to the hearing loss and deaf communities. My goal is to say, I am proud of who I am, even though I have had some setbacks, I am still pushing forward regardless. So all I ask is for many of you to be open-minded and forget what you have heard and meet someone who has lived it. Do not feel pity or sorry for them, we do not ask for that at all. All we ask is to be seen as a fellow neighbor and human being, we ask that you recognize and accept us for who we are. I think everyone asks for that. We want people to understand what is culturally good and bad to us, but the question is are you willing to LISTEN? Sometime I joke that a few people I randomly see in a meeting or group setting, and they are hearing very well, are deaf because some things goes through one ear and out the other. I have my own sense of humor of individuals who are not hard of hearing or deaf, ask any of my friends who are wonderful hearing individuals and they will tell you I will crack a joke here and there on other hearing individuals. I have met many wonderful hearing individuals and they are very acceptance of me and of who I am. I don't hide my loss, my loss does not define me, it is my STRENGTH that does. So what loss again? Exactly.
P.S. This is my own point of view, this is not to represent everyone for I am well aware we all have our own POVs.
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I apologize for my long absent! I have been so busy with single motherhood and rehabbing my right implanted ear. On May 19th it will mark six month post-activation with my Nucleus 5 Processor and CI422 implant. I will post another post soon! I will also post posts I post on Cochlear Community and Facebook. Adios!!
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