Twists and Turns of being Hard of Hearing
Lately, I have been getting familiar with fellow bloggers who deal with hearing loss and I find a lot of what they do have to say is pretty much resounding to those who do suffer from hearing loss either from birth or at a young age to later in life. Yet, I also noticed something that bothers me as well as them, when those without a hearing loss DON'T GET IT AT ALL!
To give you a background, I loss my hearing due to an unknown illness at a young age. I was fitted for hearing aids at the age of four. I suffer from sensorineural bilateral hearing loss with a gradual to progressive worsen hearing as I grew older. I went to an all hearing school district, so I had no connection to people with hearing loss or who have lived with it. I was stuck to deal with a lot of criticism, low expectations, snide remarks and just a lot of negativity that the hearing world reveals to those with hearing loss. I didn't really meet others with hearing loss until my college days and after. So I'm talking age 21 and over.
While I am used to the treatment of "misinformed" hearing culture, I can easily dismiss them after years of finding ways to deal and cope with it. I have dealt with the comment, "You only hear when you want to hear", my response would be to that, "You only accept what you want to accept." Hence, they are the ones who may not want to acknowledge you have a hearing loss nor accept the fact that your hearing loss can affect how well you can hear across the board. What I learned is this, when one deals with a hearing loss, bottom line is this, we are not going to catch everything word for word! We will do the best we can but, yes a BUT, we refuse to be subjected to negative remarks on what we do and do not hear! If you are not an audiologist or a professional that works with the hearing loss population, it would be greatly appreciated if you stop yourself from making a comment on something you don't have much knowledge in. That would be a "smart" thing to do. Also another is to use common sense. If you never experienced hearing loss for yourself, do not try to compare another person's hearing loss to someone you know...that can be considered a major OFFENSE! So it is a big no-no when a hearing individual compares two completely different KINDS of hearing loss. Why I say that? Well, no one Audiogram, which measures hearing loss, will be exactly alike, which means everybody will have different degrees of hearing loss in different ranges. Therefore, a hearing person lacking background should not compare two people with hearing loss because their own individual degrees of hearing loss are entirely different! So what one person may hear, the other may not...which pretty much mean even if two people have hearing loss, for EXAMPLE one will most likely hear better in the low to mid frequency range (low to mid-high sounds) and another could hear better in the mid to high frequency range (Mid-high to high pitch sounds). That is a simple example. The more complex example would be across the frequencies, it could be a combination of not hearing a lot of the pitches but only some. But an audiogram would be able to show the differences.
Now, if you decide to get smart by asking for someone's audiogram to "prove" their hearing loss...you better be working for a program or organization geared towards helping hard of hearing individuals. If not, shame on you. This is not an attack on all hearing individuals but there are people who fall into the descriptions I have mentioned and you'll be surprised to find out or even learn the hard way just how harsh it is for one to lose their hearing late in life and they have to deal with all of the above because no one really wants to accept the person who was once hearing is now going deaf. So for those who are new to hearing loss you are not alone in your journey. Denial is the first thing the individual goes through, after noticing how much isolated they have become or felt because they are struggling to hear, it is then that most people see their doctors to get their hearing tested. After a diagnose been made, lets say people who have known the person will also go through a period of denial and in some cases in the worst way possible. I will say some people have been blessed to have the most amazing people in their lives to help them with their hearing loss journey and not be made to feel like a cripple. For those who have been such a wonderful support to those with hearing loss a big THANK YOU for just being patience, understanding and acceptable. Not only that but for wanting to understand the hearing loss itself.
I have met wonderful hearing individuals in my life and I have dealt with my fair share of people who I wish I never really met or crossed their path. People can mean well and all, but there are some things that just are not okay. Every person who suffers from a hearing loss will have much different boundaries from their hearing peers. Those boundaries are primarily for maintaining independence and self-dignity. It had nothing to do with PRIDE at all. It really boils down to many of us living our lives as "normal" as we can without feeling like we are crippled. Yes, there is DEAF PRIDE and you have to look at the culture of the DEAF to understand that statement and the background on it. Just like everything else we all have our pros and cons. It's not right to inflict upon another group your beliefs and reasons on something you may not fully understand.
A long time ago my grandmother said something to me and it stuck with me. I'm sure you have all heard it before, "Do not say you know what the other person is going through unless you have gone through it PERSONALLY yourself." I capped personally for a reason, you cannot go off another person's experience and count it as your own "personal" experience because you don't have to wake up having to put your hearing aids in or replacing the batteries when they die or worry about missing out on what's being said or done, you don't have to deal with been potentially discriminated against or put down. You don't have to deal with run arounds while trying to seek services. You don't have to wake up still tired from the previous day because some days can be more stressful than others. No, life is not that simple but for those of us who been living with hearing loss for the longest, we can be more laidback and more of been there done that deal. I can almost guarantee some of us long timers will mostly point out what still needs work and what isn't working.
So, for those of you with hearing loss, I understand. For those of you who are hearing please be considerate and respectful. It's hard as is to not hear EVERYTHING so I only ask that you educate yourself on the cultures of Hearing Loss and get familiar with literature that will help you understand how to best approach a person with a hearing loss without having to offend them or make them feel like a cripple.
In closing, for my fellow hearing loss peers, SELF-ADVOCATE and seek an additional advocate to help you through whatever it is you need more support in. Do not be afraid to educate others and to correct misconceptions about hearing loss. I am still learning something new everyday and I apply it to the best of my ability. Now breathe and remember we are all human beings and we all have emotions to be aware of.
To give you a background, I loss my hearing due to an unknown illness at a young age. I was fitted for hearing aids at the age of four. I suffer from sensorineural bilateral hearing loss with a gradual to progressive worsen hearing as I grew older. I went to an all hearing school district, so I had no connection to people with hearing loss or who have lived with it. I was stuck to deal with a lot of criticism, low expectations, snide remarks and just a lot of negativity that the hearing world reveals to those with hearing loss. I didn't really meet others with hearing loss until my college days and after. So I'm talking age 21 and over.
While I am used to the treatment of "misinformed" hearing culture, I can easily dismiss them after years of finding ways to deal and cope with it. I have dealt with the comment, "You only hear when you want to hear", my response would be to that, "You only accept what you want to accept." Hence, they are the ones who may not want to acknowledge you have a hearing loss nor accept the fact that your hearing loss can affect how well you can hear across the board. What I learned is this, when one deals with a hearing loss, bottom line is this, we are not going to catch everything word for word! We will do the best we can but, yes a BUT, we refuse to be subjected to negative remarks on what we do and do not hear! If you are not an audiologist or a professional that works with the hearing loss population, it would be greatly appreciated if you stop yourself from making a comment on something you don't have much knowledge in. That would be a "smart" thing to do. Also another is to use common sense. If you never experienced hearing loss for yourself, do not try to compare another person's hearing loss to someone you know...that can be considered a major OFFENSE! So it is a big no-no when a hearing individual compares two completely different KINDS of hearing loss. Why I say that? Well, no one Audiogram, which measures hearing loss, will be exactly alike, which means everybody will have different degrees of hearing loss in different ranges. Therefore, a hearing person lacking background should not compare two people with hearing loss because their own individual degrees of hearing loss are entirely different! So what one person may hear, the other may not...which pretty much mean even if two people have hearing loss, for EXAMPLE one will most likely hear better in the low to mid frequency range (low to mid-high sounds) and another could hear better in the mid to high frequency range (Mid-high to high pitch sounds). That is a simple example. The more complex example would be across the frequencies, it could be a combination of not hearing a lot of the pitches but only some. But an audiogram would be able to show the differences.Now, if you decide to get smart by asking for someone's audiogram to "prove" their hearing loss...you better be working for a program or organization geared towards helping hard of hearing individuals. If not, shame on you. This is not an attack on all hearing individuals but there are people who fall into the descriptions I have mentioned and you'll be surprised to find out or even learn the hard way just how harsh it is for one to lose their hearing late in life and they have to deal with all of the above because no one really wants to accept the person who was once hearing is now going deaf. So for those who are new to hearing loss you are not alone in your journey. Denial is the first thing the individual goes through, after noticing how much isolated they have become or felt because they are struggling to hear, it is then that most people see their doctors to get their hearing tested. After a diagnose been made, lets say people who have known the person will also go through a period of denial and in some cases in the worst way possible. I will say some people have been blessed to have the most amazing people in their lives to help them with their hearing loss journey and not be made to feel like a cripple. For those who have been such a wonderful support to those with hearing loss a big THANK YOU for just being patience, understanding and acceptable. Not only that but for wanting to understand the hearing loss itself.I have met wonderful hearing individuals in my life and I have dealt with my fair share of people who I wish I never really met or crossed their path. People can mean well and all, but there are some things that just are not okay. Every person who suffers from a hearing loss will have much different boundaries from their hearing peers. Those boundaries are primarily for maintaining independence and self-dignity. It had nothing to do with PRIDE at all. It really boils down to many of us living our lives as "normal" as we can without feeling like we are crippled. Yes, there is DEAF PRIDE and you have to look at the culture of the DEAF to understand that statement and the background on it. Just like everything else we all have our pros and cons. It's not right to inflict upon another group your beliefs and reasons on something you may not fully understand.
A long time ago my grandmother said something to me and it stuck with me. I'm sure you have all heard it before, "Do not say you know what the other person is going through unless you have gone through it PERSONALLY yourself." I capped personally for a reason, you cannot go off another person's experience and count it as your own "personal" experience because you don't have to wake up having to put your hearing aids in or replacing the batteries when they die or worry about missing out on what's being said or done, you don't have to deal with been potentially discriminated against or put down. You don't have to deal with run arounds while trying to seek services. You don't have to wake up still tired from the previous day because some days can be more stressful than others. No, life is not that simple but for those of us who been living with hearing loss for the longest, we can be more laidback and more of been there done that deal. I can almost guarantee some of us long timers will mostly point out what still needs work and what isn't working.
So, for those of you with hearing loss, I understand. For those of you who are hearing please be considerate and respectful. It's hard as is to not hear EVERYTHING so I only ask that you educate yourself on the cultures of Hearing Loss and get familiar with literature that will help you understand how to best approach a person with a hearing loss without having to offend them or make them feel like a cripple.
In closing, for my fellow hearing loss peers, SELF-ADVOCATE and seek an additional advocate to help you through whatever it is you need more support in. Do not be afraid to educate others and to correct misconceptions about hearing loss. I am still learning something new everyday and I apply it to the best of my ability. Now breathe and remember we are all human beings and we all have emotions to be aware of.
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