Know Who You Are

Today, as I sit resting, I was thinking about my identity.  Where do I fit? How do I fit? What do I fit?  Then I realized, for years I just never really felt the need to “fit in” because I was already an outcast due to having a hearing loss.

I have been asked who do I associate with more, the D/deaf, hard of hearing, late-deafen or hearing.   My answer is hearing and hard of hearing.  I really did not meet another student like me in my old school district until my last year in middle school as this student was a transfer from another school district.  I didn’t meet another individual like me until after I transferred to another college to pursue my four year degree.  However, I did have an audiologist, very briefly, who was hard of hearing and she was just a positive radiant and an inspiration.  I say hearing because I grew up in the hearing world even though I was a hard of hearing individual.  I didn’t get invites to parties or go out or really hang out with my hearing peers outside of school and activities.  Sure, I had one or two friends that came to my house or I go to theirs but it was limited in my opinion.  Today, I actually have met more and more individuals across the hearing loss spectrum and it feels good to know I’m not alone.

I have written in my past blogs that the hearing world can be brutal and harsh towards those who suffer from any degree of hearing loss really.  Just ask around, you’ll hear stories of situations that some may have found themselves in that revolved around their hearing loss.  As for me, I’ve overheard a few say I wouldn’t amount to anything or go far, I’ve been told I couldn’t achieve passing grades, I’ve been called deaf and dumb and made fun of.  I’ve lost out on the ability to gain a career position because I wasn’t “qualified” enough even though I had EXCELLENT recommendations.  But you know what, I don’t allow any of it to define who I am, no matter what gets thrown at me, I won’t let it.

I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I hadn’t gone through what I have gone through in my life.  Does my hearing loss define me? Yes, in a way it does.  It shows me the world through different lens.  It shows me what still needs to be done.  It shows me, there are more and more folks out there like me trying to get their voices to be heard so that they can be treated as equals.  It shows me a world that acknowledges but doesn’t always act or show due respect.  It challenges me to really think about where I stand and how can I change people’s perceptions about hearing loss. I am not my hearing loss, my hearing loss is a part of who I am and there’s no changing that. Either accept it or walk away.

In conclusion, my identity in my opinion is always evolving and changing.  I don’t put myself in a box. I like being on the outside where the view is much better and my individuality is my own, no one else. Be yourself and appreciate who you are.  Don’t let anyone take that away.  It is OKAY to be different.