Pieces of Me

As I am organizing my bedroom, getting all of my son's school's information compiled into a binder and cleaning, I have been in deep thought about my own sense of purpose in my life. One of the biggest motivator that drove me to continue my higher education was my own mother.  So when I lost her to terminal cancer, the purpose of continuing my degree just became meaningless.  I have attempted five times for my bachelors with three to four different schools.  It was a mix between online and bricks and mortar schools.  Still til this day, while I got the brains to do the work and do it well, the drive just ain't there.  Some have suggested to do it for my son, but then I thought, "Well, I'm going to be helping him get through his schooling and where will I find the time to do my own schoolwork?"  Sure, I could go the babysitter route but wait, I tried that and it did not go over so well.  I ended up being walked over, constantly reminded I'm a single mom a

This morning I woke up feeling refreshed.  After saying my prayers last night I felt such peace.  I put my concerns and worries in God's hands because I'm just a mere human being who can't do EVERYTHING on her own, but I can control what I react to and what I choose to do about the things that matter to me. Lately, I've been in my "thinking" zone as I try to figure out what to do with my life, not as if I don't have enough going on as is, but the direction I would like to see my life go in.  Then I thought about something, "Let it go", a phrase used in so many situations that I don't think many realize the many different reasons and "levels" of  letting go.  Letting go is really a process.  Some can let something go like a drop of a dime.  Some can let something go, but not completely - they retain it.  Some take a long time processing what happened, how it happened, why it happened, when it happened and who did or said what....an

So, a few days ago the topic of dating came up among my close circles.  Now, many of my ladies are either married, getting married, have a long time boyfriend or about to be engaged or engaged.  Cool, right? I think its great that they are able to have someone who accepts them for who they are and continue to stick by them even when things aren't going well. Well in my experience dating SUCKS!  Being hard of hearing and dealing with progressive hearing loss, is a task in itself.  Why I say that?  Well, knowing you are going deaf and not knowing "WHEN" exactly, is kinda like preparing for something you don't know if it is going to happen or not.  It's like one day you could be hearing just fine with your hearing aids and then the next day BAM! you can't hear anymore.  It's like expecting the unknown but in the most unexpected way.  You just never know, just like you never know if you will see a friend again or a family member again because life is short.