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2018: Revolutionizing Life

It's been six months since my last post and it’s been an interesting six months. I returned to work after my recovery time in January and then resigned on May 4, 2018. After realizing my energy being drained and the workload being a bit much and my health was on a slippery slope, I had to make some tough decisions. Mind you, I loved what I did, but the constant of being busy and work piling up if I leave it alone and...it was just getting overwhelming. I lost my interest in social media due to the current political environment. Then I lost my interest in attending church because folks mixed politics with religion...which for me is a big turn off. I strongly believe  in the separation of Church and State. I don’t agree with abortion but I feel that it’s not my business nor my concern about what other women do with their bodies. If that is something they decide, it’s their personal decision! So mind your business and let God deal with them in the end. No one is perfect! SMH. I
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It’s a Wrap 2017

What a year!  It’s been a very invigorating and reinventive year for me. It also has been quite a turning point year as well. This year marks two years at my current job and it feels like I've been there longer to be honest. It also marked the first time in ages I was involved in a performance called “Between People” and had an opportunity to share my art with the public through The Affirmative Project . We sold out all four shows during the last weekend of October! We are looking forward to what 2018 will bring! My son, who will always be a work in progress, is regaining his self-esteem and self-confidence back. Plus, we got to see two of my family members for the first time in three years, and it was great to have them with us for two weeks. I had to have a total single-port laparoscopic hysterectomy performed. Hence, the reason to have family around to help me out and also be there for my son who, was happy to have their company. For the last three years, I complaint of lo
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Rediscovering Self

Tonight, I just watched The Bold Type on Freeform and the way they touch on issues that are very relevant to today's young adults, it's BOLD !  But it got me thinking on my own "hurdles" in my life. Lately, I've been struggling with my own fears and "issues" and besides not getting much sleep these pass few nights and dreaming dreams that are reflective of my current situation, it's a BITCH. My dreams have centered around forgiveness, mending and healing.  I'm struggling with forgiving someone who I thought I could trust but in the end committed the Ultimate Betrayal in my eyes. In my dreams, this person is trying to reach out to me, figure out how to approach me, knowing they were wrong, BIG TIME.  The exchanges in the dream are not very forgiving. I still feel very angry, very hurt and very strong about wanting to do some serious damage back. I still feel like I am owe an apology. I still feel like my voice doesn't matter to them at all
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Processing Life

You know how life can come at you unexpectedly and then everything just settles down afterward? How about when life comes at you, left and right, seemingly unexpectedly, and you find yourself saying, "Man, can I catch a break?" Sometimes life just happens be it in small chunks or big or all at once.  The all at once ordeals are TOUGH. The big ones can be tough but it all depends what it is or may be.  The small ones, depending on the individual, can be either taken in strides or accepted. I often find myself in the, "Man, can I catch a break?" mentality because it seems like if it ain't one thing it's almost guaranteed to be another.  Even if you have improved in your decision making over the years or grown from your learned mistakes, there are just some things that just keep reoccurring and it leaves some of us wondering "Why?" or "What am I doing wrong?" or better yet, "What is it that I am missing here?"  When something i
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Moving Forward

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You know, one of the biggest barriers to accomplishing what may seem so small to many but huge to other is having money to accomplish some of the most basic skills required for independence.  It took me, about 18 years, 5 renewed permits, 4 retakes of the 5 hour course to finally get my driver's license. It wasn't because I failed, it was because I barely had the money to afford the lessons or the road test itself. Something that seems so simple for others to get, was not so simple for me to get as I didn't have parents to help me out financially. While I may have gained a new lease on life, I cannot quite celebrate it as such.  Instead, I look at it as one less thing to worry about, one less thing off my plate, and one less thing to do. I look at it as someone who has had to overcome so much and to be blessed with actually winning a Gift Certificate towards a seven lesson driving package with 5 hour and road test included.  For me it's a blessing and on God'
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Anxiety - it really sucks

Lately, I've been feeling totally out of my elements.  Just checked out of reality and my brain doesn't want to do swat! I do have like an overwhelming long list of things to do and today I had one project that I worked on last week and it was a pre-drafted of everything I needed to send over to my contact and this morning, I couldn't find it for the life of me. I was left so irritated and feeling bad as it needs to be done ASAP.  I have another project that is ASAP and it wouldn't be if life didn't happen the way it did.  So I am already way behind. To make matters a bit more difficult is the fact that my anxiety is shooting up very high and it's has reached that level where it's my heart in my throat kind of deal.  My mind is frantic and lets say getting organize on a task that needs to be done, is like gasping for air.  So I distract myself and work on something else that isn't as immediate and nerve wrecking.  But what's weird is that I'v
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Catching Up

It's been a minute since I've last written! I've been a busy gal, juggling work, appointments, meetings, planning, creating, brainstorming and oh just about everything! I just got done watching "Bad Moms" and to say that is probably the most honest movie about moms ever! It was one of those movies where it gets real about dating, marriage, roles, and the whole nine yards that comes with "parenthood".  You just don't stop being mom, once you become a mom, you're a mom! I was told on several occasions to stop being "a mom" and to be myself - my old self - mind you a side-eye and an attitude of "Say what, again?!"  Thing is, your "old self" is non-existent! Everything you did prior to becoming a mom, is no longer of interest or as fun or as attractive or worth the time or effort.  I know for me personally, my whole perspective change on a lot! What was once fun, is now "eh" I think I rather sit down and have
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